Thursday, November 26, 2009

Confession...

I need to admit something. I'm homesick.

I guess it is allowed, seeing as how it is Thanksgiving. I'm sitting here in my little dorm room, listenening to Christmas music and looking at pictures of my family. Recipe for disaster, I know. But sometimes it is nice to just let yourself be sad. Its like watching "Its a Wonderful Life." You know you are going to cry, but you watch it anyway.

And yes, I did cry. But just a little.

This is my first Thanksgiving away from my family, and it (sadly) doesn't feel like Thanksgiving at all. Not the least reason for that being that it is 75 degrees outside.

I think that in addition to the whole homesick thing, I'm sad because things are changing. Every day. Every second. People get older, people move, people get married... and things can never go back to the way they were. I can never be six years old, helping make the pies for Thanksgiving, or decorating Christmas cookies. I guess I sound a little like an old woman in a nursing home.

But I just can't help thinking that I won't have another Thanksgiving for a whole year, and by then I will be a year older, and who knows what other changes will have happened. I think the holidays are a sort of way to stop the world for 24 hours, so families can just enjoy being together exactly how they are at that moment. Like a snap shot. And I guess I'm just sad that I'm missing one of those snap shots.

My Christmas playlist just switched to "Blue Christmas" by Elvis. Well family, if you read this, know that I'll have a blue Thanksgiving without you!

Well, to avoid ending on that depressing note, at least I have fun plans for Thanksgiving. It won't feel like Thanksgiving, but at least I'll be distracted.

I'm so grateful for my family.

2 comments:

  1. that was pretty hon. we miss you too!

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  2. That was...almost poetic, actually.

    Fantastic writing! :D

    And I know exactly how you feel...

    ReplyDelete